The deep lines of brown gently caressed the smooth surface in front of me as shimmering blue lights adorned the top of the angled structure and the taste of coffee slowly traversed my body.
Here, I found the fountain.
Her love of the ocean permeated through her golden skin. She swayed with the waves as her body recognized this lover from many lives before.
This rocky white beach staged with a copper sunset brought a shy smile in my direction. A small glimpse into her hidden world.
As we spoke gently, I slowly discovered her light brown eyes. At first, a recognizable brown. A brown that hid behind the many browns around.
She continued, and I looked deeper into her eyes. They possesed a mystery and beauty I never thought I’d see again. Like a night creature that suddenly emerges from the thick green, their essence, finally revealed to me. A sense of calm took over my body. This long awaited feeling came with the full force of an avalanche.
The salt and humidity in the air pushed us together until our hands met and the world around us began to disappear.
Circles slowly spin before my eyes.
Dancing beards play calculated games of chess in my grim street darkness.
Bright lights blend with blood red flags that hang upon the midnight blue.
The cool breeze carries smokey screens across the desolate face of the city.
Floating candy like caverns of muted tones and spongy white.
I felt it move inside me like a thick morning fog that slowly runs through a quiet forest. The coarse walls of my body sense this alien matter as it fills up my empty cavities.
It woke me up that night.
Brought me back from a strange land. Back to that familiar feeling that makes my stomach compress and moan. Humid like the gray morning fog. It slowly rises and rises. Up to my nose until all senses are muted.
Like an alien entity it takes over completely.
Now, we both converse. No choice about it.
It makes me dig deep into old wounds and continues to push deeper. I hold my breathe to cope. No peace will come from this yet. Not until I see the bone.
It exits as quickly as it came. Releasing me from its tight grip. Leaving a small high behind I fall back into dream land.
Into another reality raging to fill me up.
The city of lights vowed eternal love. It spoke of adventure, compassion, and friendship. Little did I know that those pictures we painted, the pictures we cherished, the pictures we thought would only bring us closer, would fade into nothingness.
I came here to find your essence, for you to whisper me your secrets, to witness your childhood stories as I’d come to play them in my head. To understand your sadness and your sorrows.
Emptiness seeped in and welcomed solitude. Here, I lost my love, my memory, but worst of all, myself.
Trapped inside the stagnant metal case, they slowly rose towards the heavens.
The cries of their colors inundated the air.
Waiting outside, the pale sun reflected an uncomfortable freedom on the warm glass.
It moves inside my mouth.
I feel the sides push against my teeth and the top, textured and coarse, fills up my cavity.
Its untrained positions draw a line between me and this new environment.
Clumsy, in this unknown territory, she finds a way to take me to the dark unknown corners of the city.
We sat facing each other and we stared timidly. It still felt as intense and virgin as that first day. The depth in her beautiful eyes was gone. They had lost the shimmer I had come to recognize as love.
Days later, when it all fell on me, hard on my spirit, I finally understood what I had lost in this long journey. I will forever miss those eyes. Their glimmer always brought me back home no matter how far I had drifted away.
Now they have drowned.
Back into her soul, heavy, never to arise again for me. Hidding in the corners of her laberynth for another stranger to stumble upon. A lucky stranger that will one day witness all her beauty and kindness.
I asked the earth for forgiveness that fall afternoon. A faint yellow filled up the atmosphere as I sat in the silent forest and listened to the thoughts racing in my head. I picked up something from the ground. A rock. One of many around me. As I held the rock in my hand I naturally started to embrace it. Started talking to her and felt my guilt slowly sink into her uneven and curvy skin.
I shared my darkness with her as she were my most trusted confidant. My sins were full of brute thirst for survival and selfish intentions. As I stared at her I could see that her darkness was natural and calm. Muted yet full of life. Throughout our conversation she shared with me her simple wisdom.
She taught me the value of being humble. I smiled. How something we take for granted like a rock sitting on the mushy ground could teach me so much about life. Each crevice shaped by the hours, the minutes, and the seconds she has roamed this planet. All the hot summers and the tremblings of the earth. Yet there she was. Waiting for me to hold her and give her a piece of me to carry along in her journey. As if I was a natural element carving away in her sturdy skin.
I started to feel the warmth of the forest embracing my soul inch by inch. I understood it wanted to talk to me and implored that I disarm my thoughts. Slowly my guilt sank deeper and deeper into that rock until only white remained. The connection to the sound of emptiness suddenly started filling me up from the ground up.
Something changed inside me that afternoon. I found my temple and I found my forgiveness. My darkness was now shared by the two of us. I told my story to a dear friend who in her silence taught me how to heal and forgive.
As I gathered time in my pocket. Grain by grain. Second by second. I kept thinking about the memories that sat next to me. In the passengers seat. The blue sensation, that in the end reminds us that we are alive and bright, took it’s time to whisper in my ear.
I felt it grab my hand, tender, as we saw the trees go by. The patches of sun drew shapes on the distant hills as we advanced with a mellow song playing in the background.
As we drive on the road we leave things behind. Sadness, fear and melancholy. My blue friend is wise. I trust her now. Before I ran away from her, hiding where ever I could. She tells me to keep driving towards the warm sun.
For the journey ahead shows only the bare unknown, I understand her now and eagerly await the blinding rays of change.